Current mood:	blank
Current music:	Planet Asia - The Professional

Subconscious
"Beneath these streets are veins that course with energy and meaning. I am that meaning. I am that energy."
- Jack the Ripper

Some people talk about their problems way too much. Save me the grief and just buy a glass house so people can watch firsthand while passing by. If I owned a glass house I'd mess with people all the time and walk around naked.

Wayne - "Howdy neighbour!"

Neighbour - "For God's sake Wayne, put on some God damned clothes for once."

Wayne - "Talk about nice weather today, eh?"

Neighbour - "A bird just flew into your wall."

And then I'd put on my robe to fetch my newspaper outside. Maybe I'd grab that bird that hit the wall outside and whip it up for dinner as well. I'll bet sparrow would be absolutely fabulous with canned cranberries and a side of asparagus. I'd invite some girl over for dinner and serve it to her, claiming the tender meat is chicken.

Some Girl - "Oh Wayne! This chicken is incredible! I swear, I will marry you if you make this dish for me everyday for the rest of my life."

Wayne - "Yeah, whatever you say baby."

Then we'd get married and I would never make that meal again. Hell if I'm gonna go hunting fuckin' sparrows every day. That would be a pain in the ass. Knowing my luck with animals, I would probably get my eyes plucked out. Now that is something to complain about.

Co-Worker - "Oh my God, Wayne, you'll never guess what happened to me last night. Okay, so, I'm like, at this party, right? And this girl was wearing the same skirt as me, and like, she looked way better than I did but she was a total skank. My boyfriend was there and he was like totally staring at her and I started yelling at him, but like, he kept on looking over at her while I was talking to him and he was being a total ass. He said that I didn't have to worry about how I would look in the skirt soon because I'm steadily losing weight from complaining so much. Blah, blah, blah."

Wayne - "Bitch, I got my eye plucked out by a sparrow!"

I would spend the rest of my life seeking revenge on that sparrow. There would be a final showdown of epic proportions and then victory would be celebrated with a great sparrow feast. The wife will be so pleased.